What I wonder is, will it be nice to remember what once was? For the past few years (and it’s so hard to believe it’s been a “few years” already) and currently, I feel like my memories are a painful reminder of the past. The memories are so fresh and vivid; for this reason I have a hard time believing that a lot of time has passed already.
It happens during random times. Random things trigger my memory. We finished learning about sensation and perception in AP Psych this week, and every time I review the words “pupil” and “iris” I think back to 9th grade in 7th period when I sat on one of those annoying, high stools next to a black lab table. We had learned that the pupil is able to dilate in response to intense emotions. Immediately Jazmin said to us, “Look at each other!” in her usual funny way, and I don’t even remember if I did it or not, but I remember blushing and feeling really happy.
It’s really weird how these totally random memories pop up at the cue of such words… Do I just subconsciously want to NOT let these memories go, so I keep remembering them? Or are these memories just so deeply ingrained into my mind that I can’t let them go just yet?
Someday will these seemingly meaningless memories fade away, along with my other memories, or are they here to stay? Someday will I look at them with fondness, or with bitterness of what can never be again?
If I could pick, I wish they would slowly fade away. I honestly doubt that could happen, though. Maybe someday when I’m old and senile, I can finally forget, lol. But then again, I guess memories do make the person, whether you like them or not.