April 11, 2008 @ 10:36 pm
I'm pretty much tired of senior year. These AP classes are pointless unless I pass the exams. They didn't help at all in getting me into my dream college. I guess now would be a good time to start hardcore studying so it's not a total waste, although I'm just not in the mood for school anymore. After devoting my entire high school career to academics, it still didn't get me where I wanted to be. So not only am I a nerd, I'm a miserable one.
I guess on the plus side, the relationship with my brother has been pretty much restored, although we don't talk nearly as much as we did before. I can't say that's too bad of a thing though. Back when we used to talk 20/7, it always led to some kind of argument or his immaturity would end up annoying the hell out of me. I feel like now we have a more civilized yet still caring relationship. Close, but distant enough.
It's probably my fault for feeling so isolated right now, but it's a toss between feeling isolated and really annoyed. When I do hang out with people some of them start to get on my nerves. People can be so obnoxious sometimes. I guess the college acceptances can get to peoples' heads. But when I avoid people, I feel like how I used to countless times before—meaningless and lonely.
However, I guess by being sad, I'm added to the list of annoying people who are not grateful, the very people I'm pissed at. Must stay grateful, and must not let anyone get me down. It's okay. Wherever I will end up, I think I will be happy. It's a long road ahead.
EDIT: I made a wish on April 11, at 11:11. Wonder if that does anything :razz: