Feelings flutter and people fade into and out of our lives. It’s an unsteady world, where each path you take leads to a certain destination, but you’re never certain of your destination until you actually arrive. The young tend to harvest all the hope they can grow while the old live heavily with life’s regrets and unresolved resentment.
What age group holds the purest kind of romantic love? If they are too young, they may hold the world’s greatest aspirations (and what better way is there than to shoot for the stars so that you can land on a cloud if you fall?), but they are at fault for being inexperienced and fickle. If they are older, they have aged with wisdom and maturity that can carry relationships far beyond the scope of what an inexperienced person may be able to do, but life’s burdens have weighed down their shoulders and they are too pessimistic (the line between pessimism and realism is blurred) to have dreams that shoot past the stars anymore.
This is one of life’s mysteries I have no answer to, but if I were to propose one idea to add to the possibilities, it would be: perhaps the best age group for the richest type of romantic love would be somewhere in the middle. You must be young enough to still have dreams that outshine everyone else’s. But you must be experienced and mature enough to be able to hold a serious relationship with someone. Not just that, but know what a serious relationship is like in the first place, and this is where age and experience often helps. And use that experience to actually keep the relationship stable. But we as human beings all age, and even if it is indeed true that young love is purest, or mature love is the finest, or it is somewhere in between the former two, we will eventually grow past that age group. If you are young, you will grow into the middle stage of life. If you are in the middle stage of life, you will eventually grow old. And if you are old, you will eventually die. Either way, we will always end up moving along to different stages in our lives. So then perhaps it’s important to experience love in all stages of life. That way, we can decide for ourselves exactly when during our lives did we have the best kind of love we could offer to someone else and accept from someone else.
Of course, that’s all just hypothetically speaking if I were to propose a theory and reason behind it. The true romantic inside of me likes to believe that once you are at an age where you can achieve the best love possible, it is still feasible to keep that love for however long you want, as long as you and your significant other are willing to embark on that road together.
And finally, I must clarify that when I speak of “young,” “old,” and somewhere in between, I refer to not only physical age but mentality as well because as most of us have seen, physical age is not always an indicator of emotional and mental maturity.
It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down to think and blog about something like this. My days for the past year have been limited to an endless string of school. But the trigger for this chain of thoughts is my parents.
This morning they were arguing again, which has been nothing new for the past five to ten years, maybe. But it was a little more serious in the threats thrown from my father.
First of all, I heard a little bit and I believe my mom started nagging at my dad again for not taking care of our house and only sitting around in leisure when he is home, which never fails to make my father so pitifully defensive and he will throw words back at her. I also think I heard my mom worrying about fixing the house and needing to use money for things such as that rather then spending them on leisure items my dad tends to buy such as karaoke equipment or electronics.
Which cues my dad to angrily say the usual possibly hurtful things to my mom, such as “Well if there are so many problems with the house that needs fixing and if you’re worried about money why don’t you just sell the house?” Incredibly childish to say, Dad. I don’t know how you could manage to say these things to Mom. You’ve lived and been married together for how many years, and have spent your whole lives trying paying off this two-story house (they’re still paying it off), and you have the nerve to just say that?
The rest is hard to translate into English, because they speak in our native language, which is Vietnamese, and I am not so fluent in Vietnamese. So when I hear words that are beyond simple conversation, I know the connotations and meanings behind it when I hear it, but I don’t exactly know what the words would translate as in English. He said things such as “If you have problems with me, then you don’t have to live in this house.” In Vietnamese it had a little more negativity and I think is even more of a low blow than it sounds in English because, like I said, I cannot translate it to the full extent.
Honestly, my parents have been fighting for a long time and I remember thinking in high school around four or five years ago that they should just get a divorce because I rarely ever saw them happy with each other, they always fought, and I wasn’t even sure if they loved each other anymore. But just because this has been going on for so long, doesn’t mean that I am necessarily used to it. Yes, I’m used to their usual quibbling. The quibbling is normal in any marriage, I am sure. However, it’s a different story when they start getting so resentful towards each other. It still gives me an uneasy feeling when I hear such hateful words from my father or mother.
My brother himself is a pessimist when it comes to love. He doesn’t believe in marriage itself. I personally think he is a fool for thinking love doesn’t exist and all marriage is a failure. He is pretty socially introverted, so that influences the way he thinks, but I can’t help but wonder maybe my parents had something to do with it. I was like that, too. I remember thinking during my freshman year of high school, is it even possible for love to last if my own parents and all of my friends’ parents end up in unhappy marriages or divorces? That thought still resonates within me today, but instead I have shaped my own beliefs based on my own relationships, and I try not to let other peoples marriages completely tear down my positive thoughts on love.
The title of this blog post, by the way, is inspired by a song from The Birthday Massacre, which is of course, called “Lovers End.” HOWEVER, if you notice my title is “Lover‘s End” with an apostrophe. So my title is not specifically referring to the verb/action of lovers ending or coming to an end. It has an apostrophe, so it’s talking about a noun, a place. I think of my blog post title in the same way, as in “you have reached Lover’s End,” a place where your fate with your significant other is decided. Nothing has happened yet, but your fate is decided here. Similar to the concept of that in a classic RPG I played, called Chrono Trigger, where you arrive at “The End of Time” and you choose your fate there (oops, gamer/nerd alert).
And after having written all that, I guess all I have left to say is,