Dealing with Dad

August 30, 2013 @ 10:03 pm

I never hesitate to admit that my dad frustrates me a lot and knows how to push me over the edge. As a grown man, I just can't believe the things he does sometimes. It's not something I'm proud of saying but I try to avoid conversation as much as possible, because if you know my dad, every day there's something ridiculous he'll say that will get me sighing exasperatedly.

My mom and dad don't have the peachiest marriage, but even she said to me today, "Your poor dad though. He doesn't have that much long to live anymore." Which is a little hilarious in the exaggerated way she said it because it makes it sound like he's 90 years old (he's not even 60 yet). I'm a bit more of an optimist than my mom and I think he has more than that much (according to her tone and words) left to live, but in general, she's definitely right. It's weird to think about. He might have 10 years left, for all I know. Or less.

I don't know how you people do it (I suppose it would help to not live in the same house as the person…for now I need some help before standing on my own), but I need to figure out how to not let my dad's craziness get to me. I want to come out as a better person who doesn't feel frustration welling up at the pit of their stomach when their crazy father says or does something ridiculous.

I guess for my situation it would be, think of all the years he supported you. Even if none of it was emotionally supportive or something as simple as asking me how I was feeling when I was sick, it was financially. (Even then, my mom is always the one who actually gives me money for things…but they share bank accounts…so I digress.) Maybe it was only financially because it's one of the few things my dad ever knew how to actually provide. And providing financially means spending 1/4 or more of your time working for hard-earned cash. So although my dad never knew how to do simple dad things or even be considerate, he did provide in another way. It's kind of easier to swallow when I realize that, as unfortunate as it is, my dad just doesn't know how to be like a normal dad. And, there are so many worse or nonexistent dads out there. It's all about perspective.

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2 Responses to “Dealing with Dad”

  1. Helen says:

    Well to make you feel better, my Dad is like that too – he mostly asks how I'm doing with school. Other than that, he just shows it sometimes through his actions, not words.

    If you think about it, based on how they grew up, our Dads didn't have much so they thought providing financial support is the best thing you can do for your children. Emotional support – what's that? XD

    I forgot to mention it in your previous post, but I'm glad to see you're volunteering. I should follow your lead too. :)

  2. Cat says:

    I love my parents and get along with them, but I think I'd go crazy if I still lived at home. My mom tried to convince to move back in after college, but I decided that the price of rent was what I paid to keep my sanity. The bit of distance and privacy helps a lot.

    I feel like some people don't know how to provide emotional support, and they have other ways of showing they care. Financial support does help a lot, and even if he wasn't there emotionally, he's there in your life at least :)
    My recent post AnimeFest

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