Before it even hit 8:00AM I already had my picture snapped for my ID badge. As a person who prefers to take multiple shots before deciding upon “the one” picture, I’m not happy with my photo, but I’m sure I’m just nitpicking. This picture is going to stay with me for 4 years and I guess my consolation is that it doesn’t look bad and it could’ve definitely looked way worse.
There was a point during the beginning of our university president’s opening speech where I felt really emotional, almost teary eyed. It was the realization that this was a turning point in my life, one which will lead me to a future that I can see myself in and be really happy with.
I’m not so good with names, so it’s going to be a bit of a struggle learning about 100 names from my class, but I imagine they’ll come to me pretty quickly over time. As we’ve been told many times during orientation, these are the people we may become lifelong friends with. I’m a little apprehensive about successfully forming some good bonds and I feel like a 5 year old again, worrying about whether or not I will make any friends on the first day of class.
In some aspects I’m a very social person, but depending on the situation I can be really shy. I find it easy to go up to someone and say hey & introduce myself to make some small talk, but continuing the conversation for an extended period of time is hard for me. I guess you could say I find it easy to talk, however, I don’t find it easy to talk non-stop. If I had to fill the silence the entire time, I would not be able to do it. I’m not sure if I should embrace finding people I can enjoy comfortable silence with, or if I should maybe challenge myself to fill in the gaps of silence. I should probably do both, honestly. It’s going to be tough, but I will try to make an effort to talk twice as much as I normally do. We’ll see how that goes.
I’ve surprisingly befriended a lot of commuters from my class already. I was extremely concerned that everyone was finding roommates and living close to campus, but I have met a handful of girls who are commuting from home as well. It’s really nice knowing we’ll have the same experience and we can help each other get through it.
Ironically, I haven’t really been able to talk to one of the two girls that I was acquaintances with before entering optometry school…which is a tad bit surprising but it makes sense that we are trying to expand the circle of people we know.
And yes, I get a few moments of doubt when I think, what if I just can’t understand something or perform something correctly? What if my classmates surpass me and I am left feeling inferior? But I try to reassure myself that I know myself and for all the times I’ve struggled in the past, a ton of repetition, practice and hard work were all I needed before I mastered something. And this entire experience will be many steps harder than my past struggles, but in being honest with myself, I realize I can definitely push myself even harder. I know I can challenge myself, and eventually make my past struggles look like nothing. It’s a scary thing to juggle in your mind, but I suppose grad school was meant to take you out of your comfort zone anyways.
I’m also just a tiny bit worried about my current relationship with my boyfriend. It’s going amazing and I am really happy with us, but I can’t help but wonder how hard will it be once the ball really gets rolling. I think it’s going to need a balance between really making an effort to see each other and be together as much as possible, and getting used to the fact that we’re going to be so busy that we will need to be apart sometimes. And no, we don’t need to worry about me “finding someone else” in opto school. There’s about 19 guys out of a class of 100 for crying out loud, LOL. The odds are good for the men but not so much the women, haha. It’s funny because the other girls I’ve met who are currently in relationships have expressed that their boyfriends have said the exact same worries as mine. I personally don’t think anyone in opto school should date around within the class. Our class size is just too small for it to be successful and not awkward.
Until next time! Whenever that may be…