I feel like every weekend I think to myself, “I screwed myself over!”
I seriously don’t know what feels worse: doing my homework ALL weekend, which leaves me feeling extremely tired and it feels like an endless set of weeks where I never get a break OR finally relaxing and doing things I never have time for (like cleaning), which leaves me an endless pile of unfinished homework.
I can’t find a balance between the two! It’s killing me!
The past few weekends I sacrificed everything to just finish all the homework and catch up with schoolwork. But it made me feel like I never truly had a weekend. It was just week after week of school.
This weekend I sacrificed a couple of big things because I intended to do homework again, but I ended up not doing it. But it gave me a chance to sleep and relax a little. And most importantly: CLEAN MY CRAP. It’s been ages since I cleaned any of my crap. Before today it all looked like sheets upon sheets of papers all over the dining table and my computer area. Plus old dishes and tissues and wrappers and nasty shiznet. Besides the hygiene factor, I really couldn’t find any of my papers. It’s becoming a really big problem because sometimes I leave stuff at home because I don’t see it, or sometimes I don’t know where something is so I end up wasting time by looking for it and then I eventually find it somewhere right under my nose.
But now it’s 4 AM on Sunday morning, I’m starting my homework, and I don’t know if I can make it. There were SO many things I needed to do… And in my head I keep saying “I’m screwed!” It’s my fault, but when I look at the clean table, I really don’t think I could have gone on without cleaning all this crap…
Man, I feel like such a mess. I didn’t go to homecoming, I didn’t go to the Key Club dance, I didn’t go to Fred’s birthday party. I went out Friday, but that doesn’t count too much. And I don’t have any of my schoolwork done. Aghhhhh. Big test on Monday too. AHHHHHHHHHH
I hope ten years from now I’ll be able to read this again and laugh and smile because I won’t ever have to deal with it again (hmmm)