Kay, so I’ve done some research and gathering input from other college students, and I don’t think UCSB is for me. Details later, since I’m tired and *should* be doing homework right now.

Thanks for some suggestions, I’m starting to look at liberal arts colleges. They seem to be what I’m looking for. There are just a few things that are leaving me reluctant. For one thing, they are private schools and cost at least $10,000 more. People are telling me not to worry about the money for now, so I’ll try to keep that factor in the back of my mind.

Besides that, I’m just not sure how I will do in these environments. The extremely small student body scares me a little, and kind of puts me off. I know smaller classes are a good thing, so I really should dispel my other worries. Reminder to self: this is college and I can no longer be that girl quietly sitting in a classroom of 40 students. But besides that, I don’t know if I want a student body that small… College is a learning experience, but I also want to create meaningful relationships too. The extremely small student body could either be the biggest downfall or the greatest asset. I like to think of myself as open and friendly, but half of the time I know I am commonly seen as the quiet and reserved girl. I don’t know if I’ll be able to step up and get myself out there. Or maybe, even if I *am* able to, what if (because of the small class sizes) I just get everyone to hate me? Then what? There are about only 1000 students and it’s probably not going to be easy.

Those are my main worries.

One liberal arts college I’m really interested in is Scripps College. However, it is a women’s college. At first I thought, “women’s college…ehh…I want co-ed,” but now as I’m thinking about it and hearing other people’s experiences, it kind of sounds like something I really need. I’ve always wondered what it would be like, not having to think, “If I say this, will Jeremy think I’m stupid?” Plus, it sounds like the teacher-student relationship is good and class sizes are very nice. And although this isn’t terribly important, it is said that Scripps is like a resort with awesome food and dorms ;)

Anyyyway, I’m not really sure but maybe a women’s college would be a good change for me. I *did* sort of envision myself having a relationship (y’know, beyond friends) during my stay in college, so the fact that the guys are scarce kills that image. I know, it’s not like a women’s college is behind a closed gate against all men, but it’s a fact that you’ll have to make an effort to actually meet them. I don’t think that’s the kind of person I am; I’m much too shy. So this pretty much seems like a disadvantage, but maybe it isn’t. I really do want to succeed in college and maybe one of the best ways is to avoid a serious relationship. I really don’t know, but it’s something I’m considering.

Besides that, what if I don’t even get accepted? Such competitive schools… But I’m a good candidate right? I’ve worked so hard all these years… I don’t know. Such confusion at this point in my life (haha, cheesy sounding).