About a week ago I stole a look at my hidden away, taped up box of gifts from the ex. I took someone’s advice from long ago. It was to: pack everything up in a box and hide it in a corner or at the back of a closet, and not look at it until years later, when I should be feeling cut from all ties.
That was very good advice. I can finally look at the contents without crying. I remember long ago after the break-up, I wanted to dump all of his gifts on his front lawn (but I never got to know where he lived…how sad). Since that couldn’t happen, I wanted to give them back to him, or burn them, or even just throw them away. I couldn’t do the first option since he wouldn’t accept them. I couldn’t burn or throw them away because I felt extremely guilty trashing things that someone else could treasure. So yes, I hid them away for more than two years.
Some of the things in there I even forgot about until I saw them. Some things I didn’t even like, but I had once treasured like gold because of what they meant to me. Some things I remember really liking, until the break-up, which then would only bring me sad memories.
I looked at everything – except for the letters and cards. I couldn’t bring myself to read those. In fact, I’m not sure if I ever want to read them again.
My plans for this box for the future? I’m thinking I’ll continue hiding them away and looking at them years from now…but the idea most appealing to me would be to donate most of the stuff eventually. They don’t really mean much to me, although they do bring some sad memories and only sit in a dusty box, but I know a less fortunate, nice girl out there would appreciate some gifts.