I felt it slowly happening over time…I used to write about all of my thoughts and feelings; it was a therapeutic process for me. I didn’t write for the entertainment of others; I did it either for my own enjoyment or my own therapy. As time went by, I no longer felt like documenting these thoughts any longer. I would mainly use conversation or messages to others as an outlet, but I would stop blogging.
For me, the main benefit of writing is that it forces you to re-evaluate everything and dig deeper into the matter. Somehow over time I just didn’t feel like doing that any longer. It felt easier to just either ignore it or express my feelings in real time to other people (good and bad thoughts alike!).
Sometimes I think, Hmm…it would be great if I can sit down later tonight and just write out all of the thoughts that I’m currently musing about…things that make me happy, things that make me sad. Things that are likely too personal or mundane that I would not like to bother other people in my life with. Or maybe things that I would like to look back on someday and read again. But…when nighttime arrives, I will have done something else (whether it’s spending time with my boyfriend or watching a show or doing something mindless) and the idea of getting back into writing becomes just a passing thought.
I’m not sure if I want to get back into writing, but the fact that I’m doing this now makes me think perhaps I do. I wonder if I “force” myself to do a little bit at a time, it will come back to me and become natural again. I wonder if written thoughts and feelings will still be as beneficial and therapeutic for me as they used to be. It doesn’t hurt to try…so we shall see. I think I’m at a place in my life right now where I’m happy in having achieved so many things but I’m at a standstill where I’m not actively working to challenge myself or go back to doing things I loved but never had time for. Writing again is an easy first step, I think.