I had a dream the other week. I received a letter with him telling me how he was wrong in disappearing like he did, and how he regretted it. He wrote about his life now, detailing his new job and how he had to move to Santa Monica due to rent. Everything in my dream was pretty realistic until that detail haha; I imagine living in Los Angeles would mean higher rent. He ended the letter hinting that it would be nice for us to try again. The dream ended with me tearing up, feeling a little torn and sad that he finally gave me an answer, but it was too late because I am now very happy with my life and current relationship.
I don’t normally have dreams and they’re not usually completely coherent and realistic. I think it was one morning where I woke up for work but decided to snooze another 10ish minutes. Dozing off for a short amount of time seems to be the trick to having such vivid dreams.
When I woke up, the dream left me feeling very dismal. I thought it was fascinating that I would have such a realistic dream – obviously my mind still longs for closure with that old chapter in my life.
Sometimes I find myself wondering what would it be like if I could have a telephone conversation to just obtain proper closure for those 10 years. I think about what I would like to say and what I would like to ask. Then I shy away from the thought because I entered a new chapter in my life and don’t want to make the pages bleed together, nor cause any extra pain.