Today after I finished work, I headed over to a facility that performs LASIK eye surgeries for a presentation (it counts as continuing education credits which is great since we need a certain amount of hours to keep our licenses). We also got to witness a live LASIK procedure on a patient.

I remember I was given the opportunity to watch a live LASIK procedure when I used to work at a receptionist/assistant at an eye doctor’s office, but I didn’t actually go. And now I had the opportunity to watch it as an eye doctor! It feels great to acknowledge that!

The prep time takes a while since the patient is given some anti-anxiety medication to calm them down, but the actual surgery is lightning fast. There is preparation in equipment and transition time between steps, but the actual laser to take off layers of cornea (which is what helps correct vision instead of having to wear glasses or contact lenses) takes literally seconds. Very cool to finally see it in live action!

Every time I neglect my blog for weeks at a time, it is usually a sign that I am NOT at my best, ha… It means I need to get my crap together and be better! Sigh. I miss blogging here, visiting & commenting on other blogs (sorry T_T), and just feeling all around more productive.

I was planning to take my OAT exam in late September, but what do you know, it’s already almost September. I feel like I’ve been screwing around. I don’t know. Ideally you’re supposed to treat it as a job, studying at least 8 hours a day. I did that, sometimes I spent the entire day doing that. But I think I burnt out, and the studying got so much slower, and now I’m at a spot where I’m really, really concerned on whether or not I can pull it together. Time is ticking and every time I seriously think about what I have to do (after the exam is even more stuff I need to take care of: volunteering, finding a job, internship, soul searching, letter of recs), my brain goes into overdrive and I push it away. Man, I don’t know. I need to get it together. I’m just not sure how to be the best I can be from here on out without falling back into a burnt out slump. I feel so guilty for it.

I don’t know. Maybe I should just keep blogging rather than hiding away. Maybe that would give me a better reality check, and motivate me for something better.

I thought university exams were difficult, but now I’ve come across something that’s on a whole different level despite graduating already! OATs! The Optometry Admissions Test. It’s almost the same material as the Dental Admissions Test, except the OAT has physics. BLECK.

My books. And this just contains main points & summaries!

I’ve taken 4 sessions of an OAT prep class now, and I’m just not doing so hot. I am lagging behind in studying, and the 12 hours spent in the prep class so far really don’t feel that helpful. I know I’m capable of learning difficult material and acing an exam in college. Get no sleep for a few days to a week before an exam & cram my butt off! It’s crazy but doable with hard work and persistence, lol.

But this isn’t college anymore, and as time goes on, I’m feeling more and more unsure about the OAT. It covers a full year of physics, chemistry, organic chemistry, random biology, math, and reading comprehension (scientific reading). And did I mention it’s all computerized (aka no paper & pencils), no calculator, and no scratch paper (they give you a dinky dry erase board, and if you need another one, you don’t get to keep your old one with all your notes on it!)? GAH!!! It’s basically everything I’ve learned my four years at university. If you’re anything like me, any knowledge even from a class you aced is out of your brain after the exam, lol. Damn it, now my cramming has finally come back to haunt me (I could still get A’s with cramming, but none of that information turned into long-term information I can remember anymore). Am I doomed???

My doodle of my pet cockatiel Chubs when I was frustrated with studying…

My prep class instructor said he wasn’t going to B.S. us. He told us straight up that the curve for improvement was going to look like a sad and flat hill. Only after the class where we drill ourselves with practice exams 8 hrs a day for two weeks will we have our performances shoot up. Whattt.

I really don’t want to get myself hung up in my doubts and worries just yet (even though I already am…lol). I want to work my butt off first before I worry about my poor performance. But it’s so freaking hard to do in the summer! Class is early in the morning and I drive home from the class (takes about half an hour) right away in the afternoon to avoid any evening traffic, but once I’m back home I just want to rest! Today I stayed on campus for 4 hours to study, but it’s so inconvenient to drive home during rush hour. Not to mention it’s super lonely on campus during the summer, too.

If you’ve ever had to study on a regular basis without any immediate pressure, how the heck do you get yourself to do it? I’m thinking maybe I can continue going home early, but once I get home I’ll force myself to stay in the living room for 6 hours to study before going into my room (my lair of procrastination & leisure). This might mean I will need earplugs as well if my dad is at home singing karaoke (which is like 50% of the time lol). We’ll see how it works out.